Over the past week a coworker, Marty, has occasionally
gotten onto her soapbox concerning the Trayvon Martin/Zimmerman ordeal. I have
heard her say more than once that the verdict was an example of white racism. I
too have a social consciousness and so it did not bother me that she should
express herself now and then. She probably thought that I would find her
sentiments agreeable since I am pretty much a liberal.
Yesterday Marty seemed particularly wound-up and I heard her
mutter something about Zimmerman being a murderer and he should spend the rest
of his life in prison. I think that did it. I calmly but forcefully told her
that the whole fiasco was the result of two stupid mindsets colliding with
tragic results. I went on to babble that it was a shame that Trayvon Martin
will never get a chance at life, but evidence suggests that he was at least
partly responsible for his own demise. I concluded by saying that the verdict
was not an example of white racism, but was inevitable given the evidence and
the charges.
I’m sure Marty was shocked that I would not only confront
her as I did, but also have the opinion that she heard. Anyway, I don’t think
Marty uttered another word about Trayvon Martin the rest of the day, or for
that matter, today.
Still, much about my behavior from that incident bothered
me. It bothered me that I confronted a coworker, and the opinions I conveyed
bothered me as well. The whole thing stayed on my mind the rest of the day, and
into the evening.
Yesterday about 7PM my new boyfriend, Dan, came over to my
apartment. We were planning to go out mini golfing but we have been kind of hot
for each other, consequently we mutually agreed to first take a side trip into
my bedroom. Afterwards, as we were lying in bed, I told Dan of my
little internal crisis. I told him that I felt bad about my loss of control and
becoming confrontational with Marty, and I felt bad specifically about what I said.
I did not want to be thought of as either insensitive or a racist.
It felt good just to talk about it with someone and get it
off my chest, but it did not stop there. Dan quietly told me that he knew I was
smart, open-minded, and that I was an independent thinker. He went on to say
that those are great qualities to have but at times I am going to find myself
disagreeing with people; sometimes even disagreeing with the majority of the
people. Dan then kind of chuckled and he said that my manner of thinking is
probably why I am an atheist in a land of Christians, and that it is undoubtedly why I am lying in bed and
confiding with a low paid, ordinary-looking guy. He concluded by saying that I should never change.
Dan words made me feel so much better… sooo much better. Dan may be a low paid, ordinary-looking guy, but
to me, he is a very special one.
Tonight it is off to visit a girlfriend. She is like the
older sister I never had. I’d love to tell her some of my recent activities but
I can pretty much hear the lecture if I went into any kind of detail. Just to
be safe, I’d better limit my wine consumption too.
No comments:
Post a Comment