Friday, December 26, 2014

A Party-free Friday Night Spent Looking Through the Blog


Just for the sake of ease, I'm going to call Terry my "boyfriend". It's kind of true. Tonight he's at some party somewhere with a few of his buds. We've been spending most weekend evenings together lately and so tonight is something of an anomaly. He ask me if he could go to the party. My initial response was that it bothered me; the simple fact that Terry asked me. I feel that he is his own guy and I am my own woman. And I'm all for independence, especially early in a relationship.

Well, I calmly told him that it was okay with me. After a few minutes of thought, I realized that Terry did the right thing to ask. It was the courteous, respectful thing to do. To make a short story long, that's why I am here on the Net on Friday evening causing trouble online, and assessing my blog; I have no party and Terry does.

Anyway, over the past half hour or so I've been sipping a glass of wine (okay, I sort of have a party) while reading through some past blog entries. In one of them I confessed that at times I have written blog entries and have been undecided as to whether to publish them. I published that entry, but there are others I have not. I would say that about one out of five goes unpublished. They remain "Drafts" until such time I decide to delete them.

Some of my unpublished blog entries remain unpublished because they are just to risque. Usually I write those posts because I am wound-up for some reason, and I go into tiny, intimate detail; too much detail. Then what usually happens is that I kind of cool off by the time I'm done writing, regain some sanity, and lose the courage to hit the "Publish" button. To be honest; there are some blog entries from months ago that I doubt I would have published had they been written more recently.

I did not publish a couple of blog entries concerning my recently problems with depression and anxiety. I wrote them entirely for therapeutic reasons and I did not feel much incentive to publish them. I still have them as unpublished "Drafts". I may never delete them because I could always have the desire to once again read them, just to remember where I was emotionally during those times, but they will forever remain unpublished.

I have written still other blog entries that are painfully boring, or just plain dumb. I am a bird-watcher and I wrote one blog entry on how I spent the afternoon trying to locate what I thought was a prothonotary warbler flittering through the trees at Edmands Park not too far from where I live. When I was done writing, I reread it and was shocked at how boring not only the blog entry was, but how boring my life must appear. Sometimes blog entries can be cruel to the author. Needless to say; the post never saw the light of day. By the way, I never did get an irrefutable sighting of that bird.    

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

My Christmas Spirit


I took a few hours off today to get a bit organized for Christmas and make a trip to the fitness center to make room for some extra calories I see in my immediate future. This evening my "friend" Terry is coming by. I am scheduled to work tomorrow so hopefully he won't stay too late. "We'll see how that goes," she said with a note of sarcasm.  

Tomorrow evening I am going to a candlelight church service with my mother. It has become something of a tradition. As a child I was a devout Methodist, but I have long since been an atheist and a self-confessed, pain-in-the-butt on the matter, as too many people on the Net could attest. So it might seem kind of odd that I would go to church on Christmas Eve. Well, for me it is a case of nostalgia. We are going to the church I attended as a youth, and of course my mother being there adds to the sentimental mood. I've always liked a good Christmas carol, too. I'll actually put five or ten dollars in the collection plate. However it is highly unlikely that I will return to the fold and leave the service a Christian once again.  

I'll drop by my parent's on Christmas day, probably some time in the early afternoon. They always ask me what I want for Christmas and I always tell them I do not know. I don't know because I already possess almost everything I could want. I have my health, good friends, and I live in a manner that would be the envy of 95% of the world's population. However, I consider myself to be very fortunate rather than blessed. Yes, I'm a pain-in-the-butt atheist, even during Christmas.  

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

This Goofy Blog and My Parents

I've been thinking a lot of my parents lately. They are not getting any younger. Usually both are upbeat but now and then they talk about such things such as events form long ago, or assorted ailments, or friends who are no longer living.

Neither know of this blog. I sometimes fleetingly wonder what they would think if they read it, particularly reading the places where I discuss intimate stuff. Both of my parents know that I am no longer a virgin, and in fact both have known that for about ten years. A few days after my virginity disappeared, I stated as much to my mom in a thinly veiled, comment made to sound casual. I just wanted her to know. I can't remember exactly what I said, but it was clear enough; my mother knew. Once my mother knew, my father knew too, about six hours later. That's how my parents marriage operates.

Neither of my parents have ever made inquiries concerning my sex life. I think they actually trusted my judgement ten years ago, and I think they trust my judgement even more now. Still, I can almost picture both of them reading my goofy blog, and their respective reactions. I think my mother would cease reading as soon as I would mention a gentleman kissing me. I doubt she would read any of the subsequent paragraphs. She would just turn away and emphatically say to herself, "I've read enough. I don't want to read any more."

Somehow I think my dad would be more open-minded. I have always considered my mother to be the more academic of my two parents, but I consider my father to be the more open-minded when considering me and my personal life. He would probably read some of my provocative blog entries, smile just a little and mutter, "Katie wants to experience life, and that's okay."

I like my dad's attitude but in a lot of ways I would totally understand my mother's thinking. There is just a tiny bit of prude in her, and to her, I'm still her little girl. I don't mind.

Friday, December 12, 2014

Giving To Myself


I give money away. I know why I do it. I've known for a long time even though I don't like to think about it. I give money away because it makes me feel good. If giving money did not make me feel good, I would not do it. I'd keep my $100 a month or so that I give. My motives are purely selfish. Here's something else; I would never give so much money away that it would compromise my lifestyle. I have limits, selfish limits.

I will often give when I see photos or videos of malnourished kids or starving animals. The worse off the child or animal, the better it makes me feel to give. If there were a text-only appeal for money to go to millions of people needing medical supplies in India, I doubt I would give. Add a couple of graphic pictures, and I will get out my credit card. The photos will make me feel better about giving.

A few days ago I gave $50 to my alma mater, the Cornell Lab of Ornithology. I did some birding the other day and saw a shore bird that I could not identify. So I went to the internet to try to figure it out. A banner came up on the internet page asking for donations to the Cornell Lab or Ornithology. There were images of birds. It worked; I gave.

Mostly I give to environmental causes. Nothing brightens my day like giving $25 to the Wildlife Conservation Society. It better brighten my day, or I'm keeping the money.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

A Blog Entry For Tuesday

I did not know what to name this blog entry, so I went with the obvious.

Anyway, I think I am going to have to call Terry "my boyfriend". I'm hesitant to do that because; #1, it seems kind of early in our relationship to give him that status, and #2, he is not exactly a boy. On the other hand, he came by yesterday evening, and he left this morning. So he's not exactly a stranger.

We did not plan on his staying overnight. Things just happened spontaneously, and when it was about the right time last night for him to leave, we both knew he wasn't going anywhere. This morning, being Tuesday morning, it was a work day for both of us. So at 6:30 in the morning, Terry left to go to his place where he would change for work. I, on the other hand, had made up my mind that today was going to be an unscheduled day off.

At about 10 AM I decided to grab my binoculars and go out bird watching. I haven't mentioned my bird watching in this blog in a long time. In recent months I haven't felt as enthused about it, or at times, enthused about anything, but through that time I have gone out on occasion.

To the average person, and even the average bird watcher, there is nothing quite so boring as bird watching in New England on a late autumn day. The weather is often not very good, and almost all of the colorful birds have long since departed for the season. There are no indigo buntings, no scarlet tanagers, no golden-winged warblers to see. I went out just to, well, get out. Today was fairly mild for this time of the year, and pretty wet. I did not care. I wanted to breath some fresh, cool air and gaze up to something other than a ceiling. There were no walls restricting either my vision, or my walk. It felt very liberating.

With the sky gray and the trees leafless, everything can seem so drab. But not all the birds are gone. The blue jays offer a pretty blue, the cardinals a wonderful red. I did not complain.

Monday, December 8, 2014

Katie the Boozer


I have recently been partaking in hard liquor, bourbon in particular. It has just been on a few occasions and I have never gotten drunk. I have gotten a little bit tipsy. This sudden fondness for spirits, if fondness is what it is, is due entirely to the company I've been keeping the last few weeks. Terry has a favorite bourbon; Knob Creek. A few evenings ago we were out and at his suggestion, I decided to try a glass of bourbon in lieu of my normal glass of wine.

Before I took my first taste, Terry instructed me on how to drink it. He told me to begin by just taking about a thimble full and allow it to wander around inside my mouth for a moment before allowing it to trickle down my throat. He said that is how you appreciate a good bourbon, scotch, rum or most other quality liquors. I did as instructed. It produced a rather nice, warm, oral sensation, not exactly a "taste" but more of an agreeable tingle, along with a pleasant aroma.

Terry said that a person either appreciates a good liquor, or he doesn't. He emphasized that it is not something everyone enjoys and there is certainly nothing wrong with that. It is a matter of preference. I have to say that I appreciated it. Of course at the time I was kind of dressed up, and just sitting in a somewhat dusky tavern holding a glass of bourbon made me feel like one of those sophisticated Bond girls from movies. Okay, I'm not exactly a Bond girl, but that's okay; Terry is not exactly Mr. Bond.

He is coming by in a little while and so I made a side trip after work and bought a bottle of Knob Creek. It was actually kind of pricey but that's okay; I bought it for both him and me.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

A Tiny Proud Moment, Courtesy of My Dad



I own a Toyota Prius. I think it is a 2008 and the only color I can put on it is "red". It is definitely red. Several evenings back I jumped in it to get some milk at the convenient store down the street. I pushed the start button and put it in reverse. I was about a half a block down the street when I noticed that the dashboard was dark. The car was running okay so I decided to continue with my errand and worry about the dashboard lights the next day. I figured I could have my dad look at it, or take it to a service garage. However, when I got to the store, the engine would not shut off. There is an off/on button on the dash and it would not shut off the engine. I went into a panic.

I drove straight to my parents' house and pulled into their driveway. When I came to a stop, I kind of automatically pushed the off/on button. This time it worked and the car shut off. I sat there for a few seconds and then pushed the button again. Just as it should, the engine came on, dash lights included. I pushed the button a third time, and as it is supposed to; the engine shut off. A fourth push of the button and everything came on again. Everything looked okay. I decided I'd go on home and not bother my dad with a problem, at least not right then.

Well, I knew there was a problem so the next day I called Dad and told him what was going on with my car. He suggested that I take it to the dealer and have them run a diagnostic on it. He warned me that since the problem was intermittent, they likely would not find anything.

Later on that day, an hour or so before my car's service appointment, my dad called me to tell me he thought I had a problem with something called the "cluster meter". He said that a failing cluster meter will make everything on the dashboard quit working, including the off/on button. Dad said that the problem is rare but that they do fail often enough that Toyota has offered a warranty on all bad Prius cluster meters. My father is always watching out for me, and he had done a little research into my situation. Good thing since I still do not know exactly what a cluster meter is.

So anyway, I took my Prius to the dealer's service department and described the problem. The guy behind the computer at the service desk told me they would run a diagnostic on it. I agreed that a diagnostic would be the logical step, but that they likely would not find the problem since it is only an occasional occurrence. The service guy looked at me as though I was from outer space, however he did kind of agree with me, saying that a diagnostic won't necessarily find every problem.

A few hours later, the diagnostic being completed, I was informed that everything looked fine and there seemed to be no problem. I then calmly said, "Well, I figured the diagnostic would not find the problem, but I know what the trouble is. The cluster meter is failing."

The guy sort of sarcastic chuckled and replied, "Well, I doubt that."

I let loose a sarcastic chuckle of my own and stated, "No, it's the cluster meter. It's an uncommon problem, but not so uncommon that Toyota does not have a warranty covering Prius cluster meters."

The guy quickly did a search on his computer and guess what; there is a warranty on the cluster meter. I think the discovery put the service guy in a mild state of shock. "Wow, you're right," he muttered.

"Yes, I know," I proudly responded.

They did not charge me for the $115 diagnostic. There is a cluster meter ordered and it will be installed at no charge due to the warranty. I'm telling you; there's no better dad than mine.