Kate Cluztiness

Sometimes my clutziness just amazes me. One time while I was watching a bird fly overhead, I walked right off a boardwalk that crossed a marsh. I fell flat into the gooey mud. I was not hurt but I did ruin a pair of binoculars. Due to my clutziness I have a lot of problems with exercise equipment. About a year ago I was walking on a treadmill. I had it set so the belt was moving fairly quickly and mimicking an uphill grade. Apparently I was concentrating too much on the TV in front of me and not enough on my walking because I took a stride that was a little too long and put my foot down on a stationary piece of plastic that was right in front of the moving belt. In a desperate effort to remain on my feet I made a couple of big kicks, like some out-of-control Radio City Rockette, but it was no use. I fell right on my butt on the moving treadmill belt. The speeding belt deposited me on the floor and then while I sat there stunned, it proceeded to lift one leg of my shorts, all but displaying some of my body’s personal equipment. Fortunately no one was right there in the immediate area to see it, although several members did witness the tumble from a distance away.

Late yesterday afternoon I visited the same fitness center. This time it was the elliptical that got me. I was again watching a TV when my left foot slid off one of one of the pedals. It is very difficult to remain upright while standing on just one pedal of a spinning elliptical. I failed to do it. I fell backwards and bounced off the plastic shell that covers the elliptical’s machinery. I ended up seated to the right of the machine, on the fitness center floor.

Even before I had climbed to my feet one of the fitness center employees had reached me. He was very concerned and serious-minded as he asked me if I was okay. I told him that my hip hurt a little and I felt a little discomfort in my right knee, but the overwhelming sensation was embarrassment. I was helped to a chair and given a cold bag to put on my knee, but I was pretty sure that the only thing really damaged was my pride. Still, out of all my ungraceful tumbles I have performed, the one I took yesterday was the only one that delivered actual physical pain. This morning my knee feels fine but I do have a nice bruise on my hip. I would estimate it to be about three inches in diameter.

As I was leaving the fitness center yesterday, the helpful fitness center employee said, “Keep an ice pack on that knee for at least another half hour; okay Kate?” Yes, he apparently looked up my identity among the membership files. He probably wanted to put on file a footnote that says simple “clutz”. 

The Melodious Sound of the Crickets

On Friday I went out with a friendly, good-looking guy on a date, our first date together. We dined on Indian food. At the end of the evening he gave me a very romantic kiss goodnight right at my door. It was an exciting, dare I say arousing evening. Last night was quite a bit different, but it was still enjoyable. Last night I strolled by myself to a neighborhood schoolyard and sat near a small stand of large, old oak and ash trees. Get this; I wanted to listen to the crickets.

Yes I know; I’m pretty goofy. I know that. Listening to the crickets on a cool early autumn evening is not everyone’s idea of great excitement. But I find the sound of crickets coming through the darkness to be very soothing. Some animal sounds will do that to me. Another such sound is the cooing of the mourning dove, especially on a bright, warm, summer morning. These sounds put me in a frame of mind where I feel as though I want to pause for a few moments and think about things, to reflect on life. I can almost get philosophical; almost.

Last night I sat on a bench in the darkness for about twenty minutes, just pondering various things, the crickets caroling in the background. After a time I found that one particular cricket had caught my attention. He was a little closer and a little louder than the others. I decided I would use the cadence of the cricket’s chirp to determine the air temperature. You can do that, you know. It’s called Dolbear’s Law. To calculate the temperature a person just has to count the number of chirps in 15 seconds and then add 40. So if the cricket chirps 18 times in 15 seconds, as this one did, then the outside temperature is less than 60 degrees Fahrenheit.

The cricket told me that it was chilly. In a way, the cricket suggested that I had sat without a jacket in the cool darkness long enough and it was time for this goofy, cricket-listening girl to head home. So that’s what I did.            

A Friday Evening With Jack

I went out on Friday night with Jack for the first time. He came to the door and I immediately could see that he was dressed one notch better than me. Jack was dressed nicely, I was dressed more casual. Those things happen and perhaps no one would notice but me. It was too late to do anything about it anyhow.

Jack drives a blue BMW of some kind. I think it was the nicest car I have ever been in. And here I thought my Prius was pretty special. I casually asked him how much it cost and he said that he was leasing it and could not tell me how much it cost. He then sort of chuckled and said that he tried not to think about it. Jack has a nice sense of humor. 

We ate at Shanti- Taste of India. I ordered the lamb curry. It is a dish that I have never had before. It was really excellent. I ordered it “medium spicy”. It gets the Katie Seal of Approval. I have not looked in the daylight, but I don’t think I got any on my clothes, which for me would be a minor miracle.

Jack and I had some really great conversations. Early on he told me that he could not believe that I was not yet married. I kind of grimaced a little, shrugged, and told him that I was not all that thrilled about marriage. Jack nodded as if he knew what I was talking about, which come to think of it; he does. He said that it takes the right two people and even then there are no guarantees.

Jack explained to me over dinner about his work as an efficiency expert. He was not reluctant to joke about it, which I enjoyed. But it actually sounds pretty scientific. This is Jack’s favorite time of year. There is football, and the baseball playoffs. I replied that I liked the spring the best. When I did not give a reason, Jack asked. With obvious reluctance I muttered that I prefer spring because that’s when the birds migrate through. Jack started to laugh but he immediate said that he was not laughing at what I said, but rather on how I said it; painfully timidly. At that point I had to laugh too.

We made it back to my apartment at about 11 or so. Jack walked me to my door and I told him I had a wonderful time. He gently took my forearm, and gave me this soft, lingering kiss. He then said goodnight. I really did have a great time. I hope Jack’s goodnight was just a goodnight and not a goodbye. I guess I’ll eventually find out.           

Settle Down Katie

Some time yesterday evening while I was out looking at clothes, I realized that I was too wound-up about Friday, and my date with a nice-looking guy, Jack. I think words came through my head that went something like, “Katie, you are setting yourself up for a big letdown. Just settle down.”

I do stuff like that; get too keyed-up. What then transpires is that the guy, in this case Jack, turns out to be an ordinary flesh-and-blood man, and I am disappointed. There is no instant chemistry between us, and he does not charm me into a state of unbridled euphoria. Another words; everything is perfectly normal. I think part of the problem this time is that I am kind of on the rebound. It’s been less than a month since I broke up with a guy after a two month relationship that I really enjoyed, right up to the end. So anyway, I’ve been acting like I’m a 9^th grade girl, an idiotic 9^th grade girl, to be exact.

I am glad I had that talk with myself, this disciplinary lecture. I now feel a bit embarrassed, even contrite by my overly zealous attitude. By tomorrow night I will be feeling a normal balance of restrained enthusiasm and composure. I will act rationally and probably more importantly, see things rationally. Obviously it is not easy being a 27 year-old 9^th grader.      

Clothing, and Making the Right Impression

Shopping for clothes is tricky enough, but shopping for clothes for certain occasions can be downright impossible. I am going out on Friday on what is in actuality a first date with this nice, good-looking guy. When it comes to buying clothes for that evening, one problem is; we are kind of between seasons. Hopefully I can come up with an ensemble that if not actually “between seasons” itself, will be ambiguous to the season it best fits. When all else fails; try to baffle.

The toughest part about buying clothing for such an occasion is presenting the right image, saying the right thing. I want to present a bit of sexiness without it appearing that that is my intention. I want to demonstrate an element of modesty without it seeming that I am a prude. It’s not easy to strike the right note. Yet another factor is that I do not want to overdo it as far as grandiosity. I want to assure Jack that I am at best a middle income girl who is not pretending to be anything else.

When these circumstances arise, I usually first go to the internet and look at photos rather than head out and look at the clothing on the racks. Hopefully I see something that gives me a good idea of what I want. I generally assume I will not find in the stores the exact clothes that I see photographed, but I’ll get a good idea of what I’ll be looking for.

Right now I’m thinking of a mid-length skirt in an earth tone and a somewhat brighter colored sleeveless top. My first notion was to wear boots of some kind, but now that I have given it some more thought, I am leaning towards light, casual shoes. I might as well show a little leg.

I’m going to want to spatter on a bit of perfume too. I do not use perfume very often. I will dab on some when I am anticipating amorous events, and when I going all-out to impress someone of the male gender. Over the years I have been gifted far more perfume than I have used, so I doubt I will be buying any. I have two different fragrances in Armani, I’ll probably chose one or the other. It will be applied with restraint. I will want just a hint of fragrance. Too little scent is better than too much.  

There's a science to all of this, isn't there?