A Step Out The Door

I had a few minutes of mild euphoria yesterday evening that was, in a sense, due partly to my entire day. Yesterday morning I climbed out of bed and poured myself a bowl of cereal and a glass of orange juice. I peeked out my back window at my hummingbird feeder to see if I had my regular visitor, a female ruby-throated hummer. She was not there. I have not seen her at my feeder in a few days now. I am wondering if she is okay. There are predators around; cats, kestrels, and the front of moving vehicles.

A short time later I left for work. Once at my place of employment, I did not step outside for the rest of the workday. For lunch I bought a $2 meatball sandwich out of a vending machine and washed it down with iced tea while seated at a break room table. At 4:30 I left work and drove straight home. Once in my apartment, I watched a little TV, ate a dinner consisting of a microwave burrito, and since I was planning on going to my fitness center later that evening, I drank milk instead of a glass of wine. After dinner I logged onto the Net where, with hesitancy, I described my previous evening’s activities in my blog and visited a couple of other websites. Somewhere around 8 PM I began preparing for my trip to the fitness center.

At 8:30, give or take five minutes, I step out my front door, bound for my car, and then on to the fitness center for thirty minutes of torture on an elliptical. Up to that moment I had not been outdoors except for about two minutes total while walking to and from my car. I consider sitting in a car to be indoors since I cannot truly experience the outdoors, and I cannot see the sky directly overhead. 

Anyway, as soon as I had closed and locked my apartment's door and turned around, I was immediately taken with a sense of euphoria. There was suddenly no ceiling over my head, no walls to restrict my eyesight. It was after sunset and the world was dimmed but yet surrealistically visible in the low light. My neighbor’s orange marigolds seem to be effervescent in the dusk. I could see the tree-lined horizon off in the distance. Everything was rain dampened, the sky was cloudy-gray, but the air felt fresh and clean. A light breeze brushed my face. The robins, the last songbird to bed down for the night, were still chirping through the twilight. A few katydids were trilling. In the sky, two male nighthawks were cheeping loudly and displaying; diving and dipping in flight in hopes that a female would take notice. I thought to myself; why had I stayed inside when I could be out here?

I considered taking a walk around the block. I could pass by the potted, multicolored petunias in front of a neighboring apartment building and stop to savor their fragrance. I could enjoy the red roses I had seen earlier blooming in a yard down the street. Who knows, I might hear an owl hooting in a walnut tree, or see a possum, or a raccoon scurrying along.

But no, I couldn’t take that walk. I was bound for the fitness center and the fitness center I must go. But it was nevertheless a very delightful few moments of gentle rapture caused by a dusky evening and a brief freedom from walls, ceilings, and carpeted floors.