Uncertainties

I don’t know, maybe it’s just my imagination, maybe it is just my chronic goofiness, but I wonder sometimes if Dan, my boyfriend, is thrilled with me, or more accurately, the relationship he is in. From my side, I think he is pretty great. He listens to me when I want to talk, and I can talk about all kinds of stuff, a lot of it probably numbingly boring for him. I’ll talk about social and philosophical stuff. I’ll yap about gay rights and my atheism, and other sundry idiotic crap that I find interesting. Sometimes I’ll drone on about work. I’ll talk about how someone at work annoys me with their work habits, or lack thereof. And then there are those times when I’ll chatter about nature and the environment, etc. I don’t know how anyone but me could not find it boring. Dan puts up with it.

Dan got to me the time he said that he was not a “career-oriented guy”. He then followed it up a little later by saying something halfway witty. Basically, he demonstrated that he did not make it a habit of following the beaten path, and that he was humorous. A week or so later I learned that he was sweet and thoughtful in bed. He does not have any noticeable body odor, bad breath, or excessive flatulence. Dan is not a sloppy eater, his normal speaking voice is pleasant, and his driving does not scare me. I do notice that he clearly does not dress with style in mind, but I’m okay with it. As I said, he does not follow the beaten path.

The other night there was a Red Sox game on and I let Dan watch it at my apartment pretty much undisturbed. I sat next to him and didn’t say or do anything too distracting. I even brought him in some microwave popcorn and a glass of red wine. I suppose it didn’t hurt that I don’t mind watching sports. I’m more easily entertained with the Patriots or the Bruins, but the Red Sox can keep me occupied as long as they aren’t too far behind in runs.

I guess when it comes right down to it; I’d like to hear Dan talk more about little things, like what took place at work, or how he became annoyed by one of his neighbors, or a neighbor’s barking dog. If he talked to me about everyday minutia I would know that I’m getting below Dan’s surface and he is letting me in to the next level, where I am his chosen confidante. Until then, I guess I’m left to wonder.