It Was Not a Challenge

At this moment I am killing time before going to my fitness center for a half hour of torture. I've decided that a good way to put off the inevitable is to write a blog entry concerning last night. To give fair warning; the entry is about intimate details concerning my personal life. I have occasionally delved into these subjects in other blog entries, so it is nothing new. So anyway, you have been warned...

Dan, my boyfriend, and I discuss sex from time to time. For example; he knows what I like and what does not appeal to me. But there are a few things I have consciously not mentioned. A few days ago he asked me if I have ever reached climax during sex. I was dumb enough to tell him that I would climax regularly with my long-time boyfriend, Mike. I told Dan that other than with Mike, I had never climaxed with a man. I said it offhandedly, nevertheless, Dan apparently took it as a challenge. 

Last night we were over at my apartment. We got to smooching, as we sometimes do, and before I knew it we were in my bedroom. I should have known something was going on when everything took longer. We kissed for a longer period of time, and the foreplay was longer and more involved too. In fact, Dan was somehow more intense with it, not more physical, just more, well, intense. He did everything that he knows I enjoy and he did those things for longer than usual. When we finally got to the main course, we started in the missionary position. Dan did everything that could be done from his position above. He would move slowly, then more quickly or more deeply, and he would vary his angle of entry. He stimulated me with his fingertips. He was enjoying himself, but yet I could tell that he was keeping a keen eye on me; as if I were a test subject. He is always thoughtful of my desires, but this was different.  

After about ten minutes he asked me if I wanted to be on top or if there was any other position I wanted. I told him it was up to him but I was doing fine right where I was. Then for a few minutes Dan became more passionate. He rained kissed around my face and neck. He slid his hands and arms under my head and shoulders so he was holding me closer.

Another ten minutes passed and Dan asked me how I was doing. I told him I was doing okay and I told him if he wanted to cum, I was all right with it. He then asked me if I were close. I think I smiled and told him that I was “close” in a sense, but it wasn’t going to happen. Dan stopped his activity and sort of just stared down to me. He was clearly disappointed. I think I kind of caressed his arms and gently told him that it wasn’t his fault and that in a few weeks, or maybe a month, I would get there and when I did, he’d be the first person to know it… well, the second person. It just has to do with my feeling completely comfortable in a relationship. I said that it was simply one of my crazy idiosyncrasies. I then assured Dan that things do “feel good”, and that I enjoy the intimacy even without a climax. He seemed less than fully appeased.

It is a strange paradox; I was the person who did not climax, and Dan was the person frustrated.