A Party-free Friday Night Spent Looking Through the Blog

Just for the sake of ease, I'm going to call Terry my "boyfriend". It's kind of true. Tonight he's at some party somewhere with a few of his buds. We've been spending most weekend evenings together lately and so tonight is something of an anomaly. He ask me if he could go to the party. My initial response was that it bothered me; the simple fact that Terry asked me. I feel that he is his own guy and I am my own woman. And I'm all for independence, especially early in a relationship.

Well, I calmly told him that it was okay with me. After a few minutes of thought, I realized that Terry did the right thing to ask. It was the courteous, respectful thing to do. To make a short story long, that's why I am here on the Net on Friday evening causing trouble online, and assessing my blog; I have no party and Terry does.

Anyway, over the past half hour or so I've been sipping a glass of wine (okay, I sort of have a party) while reading through some past blog entries. In one of them I confessed that at times I have written blog entries and have been undecided as to whether to publish them. I published that entry, but there are others I have not. I would say that about one out of five goes unpublished. They remain "Drafts" until such time I decide to delete them.

Some of my unpublished blog entries remain unpublished because they are just to risque. Usually I write those posts because I am wound-up for some reason, and I go into tiny, intimate detail; too much detail. Then what usually happens is that I kind of cool off by the time I'm done writing, regain some sanity, and lose the courage to hit the "Publish" button. To be honest; there are some blog entries from months ago that I doubt I would have published had they been written more recently.

I did not publish a couple of blog entries concerning my recently problems with depression and anxiety. I wrote them entirely for therapeutic reasons and I did not feel much incentive to publish them. I still have them as unpublished "Drafts". I may never delete them because I could always have the desire to once again read them, just to remember where I was emotionally during those times, but they will forever remain unpublished.

I have written still other blog entries that are painfully boring, or just plain dumb. I am a bird-watcher and I wrote one blog entry on how I spent the afternoon trying to locate what I thought was a prothonotary warbler flittering through the trees at Edmands Park not too far from where I live. When I was done writing, I reread it and was shocked at how boring not only the blog entry was, but how boring my life must appear. Sometimes blog entries can be cruel to the author. Needless to say; the post never saw the light of day. By the way, I never did get an irrefutable sighting of that bird.