Supposed Tos

Yesterday I was talking about the upcoming Boston Bruin hockey game (a heartbreaking affair, by the way) with a coworker. I told her that I had made sure that I had an adequate supply of popcorn on hand. She asked me with whom I was watching the game. I smiled and told her that win or lose, I was on my own. She then released a sigh and asked me in this melancholy voice why I was not yet married.

I get that type of thing a lot. About a month ago I was told that I ought to be thinking about getting married and starting a family. I don’t really mind these observations and/or pieces of advice. It means that someone is concerned and is giving my life some thought. But believe it or not; I actually give my life some thought too. It’s true. It may not look like it, given my circumstances, but yes, I do give my life some pondering from time to time. I must have joined two online dating websites for some reason, right?

The bigger the life-altering circumstance being considered, the more thought I put to it. For example; a couple of years ago I contemplated getting a tattoo. I mentioned it to my workplace supervisor and he informed me that before getting a tattoo at age 23, I should first stop and realize that it is very possible that I might live beyond the age of 35, maybe even 40, and tattoos do not wash off. He went into no more detail than that, but it turned out that was enough. After giving it some thought, I figured out what he was saying. Today I am tattooless.

There are a few undertakings that our culture almost insists on. One of the biggies is marriage. Personally, I’m not that big on marriage. It’s not that I’m some crazy radical; it’s just that the thought of it doesn’t blow me away. I do like the idea of a committed, loving relationship; it’s the traditional marriage part that has me concerned.

I had an aunt say only slightly in gest that I ought to go find myself a doctor to marry. She strongly recommended cardiologists over ordinary MDs. If no doctor were available, it would be okay to settle for a corporate executive. She was only half joking.   

The notion of kids doesn’t do a lot for me either. I can’t even whisper that position to a number of friends and family. They would think I’m crazy, after all, I’m supposed to want, and have children. This might seem nutty, but what I’m waiting for is the actual desire to have children. When I truly want children, then I’ll, well, want children. But until then, I’m kind of in the mindset where I’ll take a pass. It’s not like the human species is an endangered animal and I’m mankind’s last hope.

My mind can be changed on anything. I’m not an incredibly stubborn person. It might take some doing, but changing my mind is certainly possible. And I would be willing to accede to a significant other without too much of a fuss. But if someone were to say, “Katie, you’re supposed to…” well, that’s not going to do it.