Relationship Advice, and Subsequent Thoughts

Enough time as passed since the end of my relationship with Marty, people are starting to give me some relationship advice. My friend at work seems to be under the opinion that I've been getting pretty much what I am asking for over the last year or so, given I live in a somewhat affluent part of American society. In short; I can’t expect to get into a committed relationship without being expected for it to end in a traditional marriage. That is not to say that having a lifetime spent with one “male adult playmate”, as I have been accused of wanting, is completely impossible, it just isn't something that I should anticipate. It isn't realistic. Guys, and for that matter women too, eventually need to hear an official, legally binding vow, probably followed by family life.   

I am actually willing to do that… well, some of it. I am willing to commit to someone in a legal ceremony but it would probably have to be understood that the life after the ceremony would be on my terms. It’s not as selfish as it sounds. I would want that life to be under our terms, given that the poor, unfortunate guy would be of the same mindset long before the ceremony ever took place.

Those terms would be that children are at this point not part of the bargain. In the future; maybe, but for the foreseeable future; no. Also, I like the idea of having plenty of myspace with the understanding that it is a committed, monogamous relationship. I also am willing to give plenty of myspace (or is that "theirspace"?). In fact, I think that my giving guys plenty of space may bother some of them a little. I think many prefer some rather restrictive parameters. I am reminded of a dog that escapes out the backyard gate and gets a bit worried when its owner does not immediate pursue him.

Anyway, if I do not spend my life with one guy who fits my criteria, that’s okay. I would prefer a lifetime partner but if it comes to having a thoughtful, caring guy for something less than a lifetime, even just several months, I can live with that. My relationship with Marty ended a few months ago and though the ending was painful, I have never regretted my getting into it.    

I have actually gone to Okcupid a few times in the last week or so, checking in at my account page after completely forgetting about it for many months. I have received some recent messages but I have not responded to any. To be honest, I seem content at least for now to look at the photos of guys and read the few words they have to say. Apparently my romantic instincts, and my libido, though a bit traumatized, remain whole.